The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
