You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize