fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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