Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
