I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just want to make out with him forever
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Randomize
