I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize