I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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