I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Drunk is not a location!
Dear god my vagina.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
