i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
