sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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