Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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