this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
