Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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