i just had sex bonerless
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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