tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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