4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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