we have officially lost it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
