i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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