i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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