yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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