Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
