Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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