It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
