Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
