Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
