We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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