i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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