I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.