Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha

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(702): **** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha http://tfl.nu/p7u5

Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (664)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

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(574): I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight? http://tfl.nu/h1kj

Replies (10) Good night (1820) Bad night (487)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?

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(256): Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face? http://tfl.nu/ju4e

Replies (7) Good night (811) Bad night (2895)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar

(651): View more from Minnesota

If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either

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(612): Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar (651): If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either http://tfl.nu/6h7r

Replies (24) Good night (662) Bad night (4043)
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(708): View more from Illinois

she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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(708): she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween. http://tfl.nu/3m71

Replies (22) Good night (6608) Bad night (522)
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(440): View more from Ohio

so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce

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(440): so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce http://tfl.nu/bsub

Replies (22) Good night (3018) Bad night (1200)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

(414): View more from Wisconsin

USA! USA! USA!

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(262): i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic (414): USA! USA! USA! http://tfl.nu/meud

Replies (34) Good night (4771) Bad night (866)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....

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(618): Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight.... http://tfl.nu/4lm3

Replies (5) Good night (2207) Bad night (1005)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...

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(443): I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket... http://tfl.nu/7x9r

Replies (4) Good night (1349) Bad night (598)
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(541): View more from Oregon

So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"

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(541): So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that" http://tfl.nu/ex2y

Replies (12) Good night (2465) Bad night (863)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF

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(250): some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF http://tfl.nu/zk16

Replies (6) Good night (2010) Bad night (487)
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(205): View more from Alabama

My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT

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(205): My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT http://tfl.nu/uxt5

Replies (11) Good night (615) Bad night (2144)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.

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(250): Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles. http://tfl.nu/jjec

Replies (6) Good night (1429) Bad night (514)
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(631): View more from New York

Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps

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(631): Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps http://tfl.nu/unlw

Replies (2) Good night (354) Bad night (713)
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(940): View more from Texas

Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..

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(940): Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku.. http://tfl.nu/zv8o

Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (244)

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