Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.

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  (815): Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single. http://tfl.nu/sipf
  Replies (46) Good night (785) Bad night (4064)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

  (330): View more from Ohio

  well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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  (440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5028) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You are the reason we need health care reform

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  (773): When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger (708): You are the reason we need health care reform http://tfl.nu/m8x5
  Replies (55) Good night (2992) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".

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  (281): All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems". http://tfl.nu/zcya
  Replies (11) Good night (3759) Bad night (1401)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.

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  (816): I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/d5bh
  Replies (3) Good night (2582) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times

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  (775): My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times http://tfl.nu/d78u
  Replies (15) Good night (4164) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.

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  (714): He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xpcu
  Replies (8) Good night (2529) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!

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  (515): I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th! http://tfl.nu/5xz8
  Replies (0) Good night (1041) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.

  (904): View more from Florida

  And you say you're not good with numbers...

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  (704): There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night. (904): And you say you're not good with numbers... http://tfl.nu/gbor
  Replies (5) Good night (1183) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Slow dancing with the chandelier.

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  (828): Slow dancing with the chandelier. http://tfl.nu/w34r
  Replies (4) Good night (1102) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Still breathing?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  What.

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  (503): Still breathing? (303): Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences. (503): What. http://tfl.nu/d219
  Replies (4) Good night (688) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.

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  (512): Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss. http://tfl.nu/t3a0
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away

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  (541): There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away http://tfl.nu/55q1
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia

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  (972): On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia http://tfl.nu/s5pu
  Replies (6) Good night (227) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Of course I have a pirate flag

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  (630): Of course I have a pirate flag http://tfl.nu/t3eo
  Replies (4) Good night (693) Bad night (229)

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