Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.

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  (832): i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml. http://tfl.nu/k21j
  Replies (21) Good night (775) Bad night (3745) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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  (508): I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day http://tfl.nu/qyf0
  Replies (30) Good night (3752) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?

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  (727): I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what? http://tfl.nu/li5i
  Replies (37) Good night (5095) Bad night (1977) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.

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  (419): I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/ussa
  Replies (37) Good night (2049) Bad night (7594) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.

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  (513): literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night. http://tfl.nu/en91
  Replies (4) Good night (847) Bad night (2935) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.

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  (405): I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine. http://tfl.nu/ew02
  Replies (8) Good night (3133) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

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  (732): There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice http://tfl.nu/ufj4
  Replies (7) Good night (2292) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.

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  (954): FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today. http://tfl.nu/1con
  Replies (13) Good night (3481) Bad night (1026)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that

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  (778): you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that http://tfl.nu/wgi4
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (2704) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.

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  (270): I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely. http://tfl.nu/i6l6
  Replies (5) Good night (3086) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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  (432): I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame. http://tfl.nu/e3aq
  Replies (13) Good night (497) Bad night (3235) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras

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  (301): Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras http://tfl.nu/fw4u
  Replies (11) Good night (2692) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number

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  (870): He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number http://tfl.nu/tvhj
  Replies (7) Good night (410) Bad night (1777) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you

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  (304): He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you http://tfl.nu/r4en
  Replies (2) Good night (305) Bad night (935) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.

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  (320): Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different. http://tfl.nu/42a5
  Replies (5) Good night (1059) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt

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