dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help