So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
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Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.