Taylor Swift is so right about you.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
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My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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