I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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