all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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