Where is the hickey?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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