Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
