Already got asked if we're dating
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
