party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
