My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
