Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think my vagina is haunted
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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