my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
