he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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