okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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