i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
