ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
