At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
