i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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