I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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