never play flip cup with pint glasses
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
