Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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