Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize