I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
