I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
