Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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