I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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