The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
