Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
