I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
