You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
