Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
