i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
