none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
