I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
