pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
