You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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