If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
