Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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