i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
smell my finger.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
whose parrot is this?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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